Why?
by efred
Summary: what happens after a heated fight. BBRae. (oneshot).


Why.  
"Just tell me Raven, why? Why do you always pick on me?", Beast boy yelled, getting up in her face.  
"You insult me, you yell at me, you tease me, you've hit me!"  
She was furious but didn't say anything. She just slightly twitched listening to his shouting.  
"Just tell me, why?", he demanded right in her face.  
She snapped, and what she did next would shock them both.  
She kissed him.  
He pushed her away quickly shocked by what she did; just to quickly grab her face returning the contact. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he gripped her waist. They backed up till they fell on his bed.

As she sat on top of him, she could slowly feel his hand pull up her shirt. She pulled away from the contact and sat up, staring at him. His emotions were wild. (Fear, lust, curiosity, excitement, passion, love.) With a swift motion she took off her shirt and continued kissing him.

They rolled over switching positions as she slowly undid each button of his shirt. When she reached the bottom she gripped the buckle of his belt before undoing it. There was no going back now.

She woke up in his room and recalled everything they did.

There was no going back now; they can never be what they once were. Maybe if she had just kissed him they could have worked it out but sleeping with him? No, there was no going back from that.  
She sat up wanting to be ashamed, wanting to regret it. Yet, she didn't.  
She stared at the sleeping form that was next to her, debating whether to leave or lay back down and embrace him.  
She exhaled and got up leaving the room.

When he finally woke up, he was shocked to see that she wasn't there; he was a little hurt but understood. He couldn't expect her to sleep in, waiting for him to wake up.

He got up and got dressed before leaving his room. He walked down the hall into the main room where he found the rest of the house hold. Starfire was watching Robin and Cyborg play a video game and Raven was in the kitchen making some tea.  
He smiled seeing her and walked up behind her startling her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.  
She gasped. "What are you doing?"  
"I get it now, why you always pick on me.", he said smiling into her back.  
She pushed him away.  
"Beast boy we... we need to talk."  
"Ok?", he said a little confused as she walked him into the hall.  
"What's wrong?", he asked.  
"Last night was a mistake."  
"What?"  
She could immediately feel his emotions. (Shock, fear, embarrassment, hurt.)  
"It never should have happened."  
"You're the one who kissed me!"  
"I know."  
"Was it bad or something?"  
"No it wasn't bad, it just shouldn't have happened."  
(Anger, shame, resentment, humiliation, heartbroken.)  
"Beast boy, I'm sorry...", she tried to say. But he cut her off.

"Just forget it.", He said coldly before walking away.  
(Heartbroken.)  
She sighed. "This is for the best."

Beast boy stormed into his room and tore it apart in rage till he fell on his bed in defeat. But the thing about his bed is that it now smelt like her. He didn't know what to feel. There was anger but also sadness. He looked down at the scene of the crime.  
Damn his sensitive nose.  
He tore the sheet off his bed and ran to the laundry room.

"What are you doing?", Raven asked in the doorway.  
He didn't even look at her. "I'm getting rid of the evidence.", He said throwing the sheets into the washer.  
He was taking this harder then she thought.

Raven left and was replaced by Cyborg.  
"Finally deciding to wash those sheets, huh?"  
"Not now man?"  
Cyborg stared at him questioningly. "You didn't wet the bed did you?"  
Beast boy didn't answer, just started the washer and left the room slipping past his robotic friend.  
"What's bugging him?"

Cyborg knew he had to investigate. So, he knocked on Raven's door. She answered it, a little distorted herself.  
"Hey Rae, um... I was wondering if you might know what's going on with BB? I just saw him and he was acting weird."  
She was silent.  
"I hope it wasn't the argument you two had last night."  
"I think it's something else." she said softly.  
He sighed "I hope it's not another girl. One day he's gonna fall for one and never bounce back."  
Cyborg wasn't helping Raven feel any better.  
After he had left, Raven sat on her bed and thought. She didn't mean to hurt him; she hated being the cause of his pain. But what was she to do. She can't be with him. No matter how much she wants to.  
"It just wouldn't work."  
But she needed to talk to him. So she went to his room. She walked in through the open doorway and saw him making his bed.  
"What do you want?" he asked coldly not facing her.  
"I wanted to make sure you are ok."  
He huffed.

She couldn't help but notice that he was favoring his right hand. She looked over at his wall and saw a fist size imprint. She sighed walking over to him as he sat on his bed.  
"Let me see your hand."  
"It's fine."  
She reached for it but he quickly pulled away.  
"I said its fine!"  
She ignored him and grabbed his hand. He flinched at the pain. But she cuffed her hands around his and began to heal him.  
"Why?"  
The question caught her off guard.  
"What?"  
"Why did you do it?"  
She didn't know what to say.  
"If you didn't like me in that way then why did you do it?"  
She sighed, "I don't know."  
"I don't believe you."  
She didn't respond; just continued to heal his hand.  
She finished and was about to move her hands when he put his other one on top of hers.  
She looked up at him confused.  
"Do you really feel nothing for me?", he asked.  
She couldn't find the words. So instead pulled her hands away from his and got up. He stared at the ground in sorrow as she headed to the door.

"You can't just do that to people."  
She turned around and stared at him as he spoke.  
"Just use them like that."  
"I didn't use you..."  
"Then what was it then?", he demanded getting up, "Because I'm still confused!"  
He calmed down "I thought you picked on me because you secretly liked me."  
He sighed, "I was so sure after last night…"  
She sighed and was tempted to walk towards him, "And what happened after, before you left, that part where it was just us. No lust or passion just us..."  
She stepped closer, "That was the best part. When I thought you felt the same way I did."  
She wanted to hug him, to hold him, to comfort him.  
"I wish I savored that moment, before it ended."  
She bolted forward and kissed him. He returned it directly till he pushed her away.  
"No!"  
She was shocked and a little out of breath.  
"You can't just do this Raven! Toy with me!"

She stared at him and watched him stand his ground. Till he couldn't take it anymore. He bolted forward locking her lips with his own. He held her face with his hand; pulling her close deepening the contact. She backed up taking him with her till she ended up slamming against the wall. She took off his shirt before his hands made their way up hers. He picked her up; holding her against the wall; kissing her neck as she gripped his back.  
Thing were way more forceful this time around.

She woke up in his bed again and saw him sitting up with his feet over the edge. He stared at the floor aware that she was awake.  
"This is where your gonna sneak out, and act like this never happened.", he said holding back tears.  
She leaned forward and hugged him resting her head on his back.  
"I'm sorry.", she said before pulling away.  
"Just go."  
She got up and left him there in the bed that smelt like her again.  
"Why Raven?", he whispered after she left.

As soon as she shut her door, she slunked to the floor and teared up.  
Why did boys cause her to shed tears?  
She didn't mean to sleep with him again. She didn't mean to hurt him again. She hated herself. She loves him; she knows she does. But they can't be together, not like Robin and Starfire. It just wouldn't work. But she also couldn't keep sleeping with him. It was tarring him up inside.  
The worst part of it all is that he feels nothing now, nothing. No anger or hatred or sadness.  
(Nothing.)She broke him. And that made her feel terrible.  
Unlike him she was having emotions; feeling. (Shame, sorrow, regret.) But she banished them away. Just like her father. She truely is the daughter of evil; using someone and feeling nothing afterwards. Even if she was forcing herself to feel nothing it just proved her point that she isn't right for love.

Why couldn't he understand that?

The tower grew quiet with both heroes hiding in their rooms with no plans on coming out. The others knew they had a fight, and tried to give them their space, atleast Robin and Starfire did. Cyborg on the other hand was a lot more inquisitive. He knew they were avoiding something, and the best thing for all of them was to get them to talk. So while Robin and Starfire were out, he set off the emergency alert.  
They both bolted into the room saw one another and immediately tried to exit. But Cyborg grabbed their arms.  
"Nope!"  
"Cyborg!"  
"Let go!"  
"Not until you tell me why you guys are fighting."  
They both pulled their arms out of his grasp and crossed them pouting.  
"Why are you guys acting like this?"  
"Go ahead Raven, tell him why."  
"I don't have to take this." She snapped exiting the room.  
Beast boy sighed and ran after her; following her into her room.  
"What did I do wrong?"  
"What?"  
"If it wasn't the sex, then it had to be me."  
"It isn't you."  
"I don't believe you."

That angered her.  
"God! don't you get it? We can't be, I can't be with you! I'm not a good person! After our first night I blocked out all feelings towards you. Good people don't do that."  
She exhaled; calming down, "I'm not worthy of being loved the way you love me."  
He was shocked. "You think you're not worthy of me?"  
"I'm not worthy of anyone.", she said under her breath.  
He couldn't help but smile. She wasn't using him and he didn't do anything wrong. She just didn't want to be happy, she didn't think she deserved the wonderful feeling of them being together.  
She was shocked as she started feeling positive emotions from him. And before she could react he hugged her.  
"Why are you smiling?"  
"Cause for ones I'm not the idiot here."  
"What?"  
"You think you don't deserve happiness because of where you come from?"  
"Well…"  
"You think you don't deserve being with someone that makes you happy because your dad is the meaning evil."  
She sighed."What's your point?"  
He quickly kissed her.  
"My point is, you're wrong."

He kissed her again and she returned it. Because for the first time ever, Beast boy was right.

She laid on his chest hearing his steady heartbeat.  
"The feeling is wonderful.", she said enjoying the aftermath.  
"Told ya."  
A knock on the door startled them both. They forgot they weren't the only ones who lived here.  
"Yo Raven, BB. Are you guys ok? I haven't heard anything for a while."  
"Just a minute" Raven hollered as they both quickly got up.  
"Pants. Raven where are my pants?"  
She threw him his jeans and couldn't help but snicker to herself about their situation.  
Raven answered the door, her hair and cloths in a bit of a mess.  
Cyborg just stared. "Oh god! Did you guys physically fight?"  
"What? No. We're fine." She said a bit distraught.  
Suddenly in the background Beast boy lost his balance trying to get his pants on and toppled over in view of the doorway.  
"... Hey Cy..."  
Raven blushed and avoided Cyborg's awkward stare as everything became clear.  
"Why didn't you guys tell me?"


End file.
